been a long time don't you think?

Thank you for all your kind words and positive vibes, believe me i have been touched by them.
I have come to finally realize that things do happen for a reason,
And what ever comes flying your way you have to deal with it, some can do this much better than others.
Sure I've had my fair share of downs quite a lot to be fair
 enough that if you didn't know me would find pretty unbelievable, but i'm here, not to dwell on the bad but to find closure and look forward to the challenging future!

I HAVE GIVEN UP SMOKING!!

oh yes thats a massive positive following a number of heart attacks in the family and my stepdad's quadruple heart bypass recently (i'd given up by then)   :)
but all pretty scary at the time.
So how long has it been urmmmm April 20th or there abouts twas  a saturday 10weeks or so?? hopeless with guesstimates,
and i feel good i don't allow smoking in the house anymore everyone has to go outside hehe even in the pouring rain :)
Which means that i can zoom through crochet projects! much quicker than when i was stopping for a crafty you know what, every other row!

Yes i have come to accept that it is much easier to switch off from normal day to day activities and pick up when things are not soo bad, i guess i'm a pro at the switching off thing, isolation seems to be  my best asset, an also be bad too, when all you have to argue with is yourself, when you are sat in a corner crying to yourself, when you feel totally alone, screaming to yourself  WHY ME!  
Good Lord if things happen for a reason to test your strength etc i consider myself well and truely being tested to the max.

So if i've been absent here and there soo sorry my lovelies i am pro at blocking out!
I have missed your goings on,
 i'm not going to promise to regularly update anymore as  i feel terrible knowing that i've worried people so if i go missing again just be assured i have difficult moments and that i'll come good at some point xx
So what have i had chance to do? well there was a charity pink day at work where i took a load of nic nak things to sell and raise money for cancer research that was fun heres a snippet here

just a small sample there was also bunting donuts more cupcakes etc but you get the gist :)
i also competed a baby blankie for my friend who has had her own medical problems with the pregnancy
she worried me something terrible too hugs my lovely  xx

baba due in six weeks :) xxxx
pics not great as my camera broke so got the best of what mobile phone has to offer, this was presented to her at a surprise baby shower :)

i also just finished a noahs ark mock copy for my nephews new boy :) i didn't have the pattern just used my imagination and had a go i will have to get the original pattern at some point as i had fun fun fun with it .

So that's me and my goings on i'm trying now to do a waistcoat! now that will be interesting as i've never challenged myself to garments eek

I apologize to anyone who has been let down by me, i can not change the past if only hey! but i can do my best to embrace the future xxxxx much love as always Amanda xx